The A to Z of Feelings: Making your emotions work for you, not against you! by Andrew Fuller & sam fuller

Author:Andrew Fuller & sam fuller [Fuller, Andrew & fuller, sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bad Apple Press
Published: 2021-04-29T14:00:00+00:00

Physical signs of happiness

smiling, laughter

open face

hugging people

jumping up and down

enthusiastic voice

openness and expansiveness

talkative, pupils dilated.

The distinctive feature of these activities is that typically they involve the person setting their own goals and providing their own rewards. It is by engaging in these activities that they free themselves from needing to wait for the world to provide challenges and rewards. However, even the sense of flow is fleeting, so how do we go about creating enduring happiness?

What you can do that helps

All of our knowledge about happiness shows us that our happiest times are not about indulging ourselves. Happiness comes from doing things that are meaningful and benefit others.

For parents who want their children to be happy, teach them about how to make a contribution to their relationships and in their future working life.

One of the most common misguided things parents say of their children is, ‘I just want them to be happy.’ Given that happiness is a topsy-turvy unpredictable beast, this is a mission bound for intermittent failure. Firstly, it sends the wrong message: ‘If you’re not happy, something must be wrong.’ This draws a false link between the absence of happiness and some personal deficiency within the child or inadequacy in the quality of their parenting. Secondly, it is not achievable as a consistent state of being. Life has its slings and arrows. Parents would do better to focus on helping their children have a strong sense of identity and a sense of being loved and belonging.

While happiness may be fleeting and unreliable, here are some sure-fire ways to increase your chances of creating it.

Don’t wait to see if you are having a good time

Instead of going to places and seeing if it is fun, decide in advance to have fun regardless of the circumstances. Enjoy the day regardless of the weather. Make the most of the occasion regardless of the company.

Go outside and play

You were told to do this as a kid and I’m telling you to do it again: play more. Go for walks, throw a dog a stick, skip, sing loudly or imagine yourself to be a spy passing through enemy territory. Whatever does it for you. Make a promise to play more.

Develop deep friendships

Your friends are your true wealth. Value them and see them regularly. Let them know how important they are to you. Most people only have two close friends, so don’t fool yourself into believing you are less popular than most people.

Increase the closeness of extended family

Keeping in close contact with your family gives you a support base for difficult times and also strengthens your sense of where you came from. Feeling you belong in a family is a powerful way of being happy.

Play to your strengths

Have a long, hard look at yourself. What are you good at? Go to www.mylearningstrengths.com and find out your learning strengths. Make a commitment to develop your skills, talents and abilities as much as you can. If you don’t develop your own unique talents, the world misses out.

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